Trouble in Paradise

posted in: 44 Cherry Street, Newsletter | 0
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Lorraine was concerned about the current unrest in Black Mountain. According to her source the town leaders had declared Martial Law and had grown too big for their boots. When the Mayor resigned, the Aldermen chose one of their own to replace him. Then they replaced the Alderman with one of the many candidates running for the openings on the town board. The Black Mountain Exchange was on fire with responses from locals, outraged at the excesses of their leaders. Lorraine decided that she must return to Black Mountain. Not only were local dogs at risk for Covid, but now Democracy itself was at risk in Black Mountain.

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Meanwhile back at 44 Cherry Street, the residents were having their own troubles. Frederick was wondering what to fix for dinner. Now that he and Ellie had stopped keeping company, he had to fend for himself. He had stocked up on Kraft Mac and Cheese boxes, but was perplexed when he read the box and learned that each box was supposed to feed a family of four. He ate the entire contents himself, of course, and wondered if he could be classified as a family of four. That made him miss Lorraine all over again. At least if she came back they’d be a family of two. And he would be eating better.

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The busiest person in the building, though, was Elrod. He had tried his best to find a girlfriend on match.com. but none of the women he liked had ever shown up, even though he emptied his bank account sending them money for the trip to Black Mountain. He could now find his way to the Asheville Airport blind-folded, because he had driven out there so often to meet his prospective wives. 

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Because he was celibate, he was buzzing with energy. He planned to devote his time to saving Black Mountain from Fascists. He was going to start an Antifa Group on Cherry St. He wasn’t sure what Antifa was, but he liked the idea he had learned on Fox that it was a dangerous and violent group. He had lots of guns and was mad at the world. Black Mountain citizens must be protected from crazies coming i from outside Western North Carolina. He decided to head over to the VFW across from Lake Tomahawk and recruit some fellas to join his Black Mountain Antifa Club. They would collect all the firearms they could and become vigilantes. He reached under his bed and pulled out his secret arsenal of semi-automatic weapons and the very hard-to-come-by boxes of bullets. He got some spray paint from Town Hardware and began making signs on soiled bedsheets, which he draped over the entrance to 44 Cherry Street and on a flag he mounted on the back of his battered pick up truck. 

Vintage Chinese Garden Seat

They read: BLACK mountain LIVES MATTER!!

Somebody had to stand up for the little people, he liked to say. And he was ready to support the residents of Black Mountain from the scary Aldermen. No telling what they might do next. Not to mention agitators from far away. Probably China where the Chinese Virus came from.. They might make every street in Black Mountain into one-way streets the way they did to Cherry Street. That’s what those kind of people just might do. He had to stand up for two way streets. He was inspired to make another banner. This one read: “I go both ways!” and he nailed it to the front of the building beneath his window. 

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