Find out at 44 Cherry Street

Some last minute Easter gifts are here
Click above for tickets and information for Humans!

There has been so much going on in the past few weeks! I have been working hard with Julie to set up the new space at Marquee, and Abby has been scrambling to prepare for the show, Humans, she is staging at Diana Wortham Theater starting April 28. Actors are here from New York rehearsing and building puppets and sets. So it kind of took me by surprise when a friend asked me the other day about Lorraine and her new boyfriend. New boyfriend?? I headed up the hill to 44 Cherry Street to check in.

We have lots of plants in unusual containers for sale to bring color and fresh air into your home

Lorraine buzzed me into the building and I climbed the stairs to her apartment. When I saw her, I was shocked. First there was Lorraine herself, and then the transformation of her apartment. Both were a mess! “Lorraine? Is that you?” I asked.

The normally perfectly groomed Lorraine who always wore Eileen Fisher clothes was almost unrecognizable. Her now-grey hair was a tangled mess, and she wore no make-up. Instead of fine linen clothes, she wore a huge flannel shirt, baggy blue jeans and hiking boots. And her tidy apartment was covered with newspapers and junk mail that had been thrown everywhere. 

“So what’s up with you, Lorraine?” I persisted. “Are you rehearsing for a play? Is this the costume?”

Photographs by Mike Kellner $35

“Well, I sort of am playing a role!” she laughed. “Mac tells me that I am a snob! Can you believe it? Just because I like to dress well. He likes me to blend in with common people. He also thinks I like to hike, like in the woods, so I bought these boots. I have blisters all over my feet! I need a pedicure desperately!”

“Let me get this straight. You dress like this because Mac tells you to do so? That’s not like you! And what’s with the mess in your apartment?”

Just then there was the sound of a door closing behind Lorraine, and a white-haired man appeared coming out of the bedroom wearing a very short bathrobe that barely covered his private parts. He rushed towards me with his hand outstretched. “Mac Buchanan…”he stated. “And you are?”

Vintage Mexican Clay Folk Art

He pumped my hand in a vise-like grip as I introduced myself. Lorraine was staring at us with an idiotic grin on her faSuddenly he was uncomfortably close to me, looking intensely into my eyes. “So Stephanie, why are you so tense?” he asked, spinning me around and vigorously massaging my shoulders, breathing rhythmically into my hair. 

I tried to extricate myself from his grasp and finally stood a few feet away from him. “So nice to meet you, Mac” I lied. “So where do you live?’

Mac moved over to Lorraine and pulled her towards him in a bear hug. “I live right here with this little lady!  She’s my Texas Hot Tamale!”

Rude pens from England. Pretty funny!

I exchanged glances with Lorraine. Hot Tamale was the name El Chapo gave her during their torrid affair in Mexico. The thing she liked best about El Chapo was his money and the expensive gifts he gave her. I wondered whether this latest beau was able to give her the things she craved.

“So what do you do, Mac?” I asked.

“Do? I hike, I like to keep trails groomed and clean. I read articles about the environment and keep up with the Sierra Club. I’m a lifetime member, you know. I do the important work of educating people about the destruction of the planet…”

I cut him off. “I mean, do you have a job?”

Hand-embroidered bags from Mexico

“Of course! Of course I do! I’m a salesman. I sell magazines door to door. But not just any magazines. I sell recycled magazines. Our environment can’t take much more destruction of our precious forests to make paper. We need to learn to reread old magazines to save the earth.  Allow me to show you some of my stock…”

I shot a glance at Lorraine who was staring at her hiking boots, and bade them both a good afternoon. “Happy hiking, Lorraine!” I called as I headed downstairs.

Hand-embroidered pillow from Mexico $75