Here is my little hand swathed in a massive bandage

So here’s what happened: i was at my exercise class for senior citizens and had wrapped the blue resistance band tightly around my hands. As i do everything, i put all i had into the best possible stretch. As I pulled, i felt something give in my left hand and it hurt. Anita, the very good-natured instructor, who bursts into song frequently in the class, asked why i was just standing there. ‘i think i broke my finger,’ i said.

She just laughed and laughed. “Stop being so dramatic,” she joked. 

I finished the class with far less vigor than before. By the next day my hand hurt more than before, so i took my swollen hand to the Range walk-in clinic. They x-rayed it and said they saw no evidence of a fracture and sent me home with a black cuff. 

One week later the pain had just gotten worse so i went back to Range. They x-rayed it again and lo and behold, the x-ray showed a bad break of the long bone on the side of my hand. They call this kind of break a boxer’s break, which made me feel tough. Apparently all my exercise of the wounded hand had made the bone move enough that the fracture was now visible. They showed me both films and I agreed that the x-ray from the week before had no sign of a break. I was referred to a hand surgeon and had an appointment yesterday.

The doctor explained my options. I could have surgery so my hand would heal perfectly, or I could opt for the nonsurgical route. I absolutely do not want surgery, so I asked what the downside of no surgery would be. My hand, he explained, might heal with a possible misshapen knuckle. 

“And that’s it?” i asked.

“Well your pinky might be a bit crooked too.”

I have bad arthritis in my hands and my fingers are lumpy and twisted. “Doctor,” I said. “Have you seen my hands? I’m not a hand model, so I will take the nonsurgical route.” He’s a surgeon, so he seemed disappointed in my decision

Now I have this massive cast on my hand and every time i try to scratch my nose or rub my eyes, I hit myself in the head with it, and as i drive the car, the turn signal keeps getting turned on. I can type with only one hand and have to twist my arm around to hit the shift key. I don’t know how long i have to wear this thing, but i hate it already.

The state of my hands… I’m not worried about a wonky knuckle