Bye-Bye Bulimia

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Bulimia gives Lorraine the stink eye

Lorraine had her first successful, peaceful visit with her sister Bulimia ever. She and Mia agreed not to discuss politics, and Lorraine cast a fond eye on her sister and Bubba, her husband, as she now saw them as gay. She was sorry for them that they had lived all their lives thus far as straight. They must have been suffering. 

Hand-painted by local artist

On her part, Bulimia was thrilled that Lorraine supported her alliance with the QAnon movement. It astonished her that Lorraine, whom she regarded as a radical, leftwing enemy of the President, determined to destroy America as we now know it, approved of Mia and Bubba being part of the Q world. She thought that perhaps Lorraine was less of a commie pinko than she once was. Maybe she wouldn’t go to hell.

Navajo oil painting

Each of them thought that the other must be improving. As they got so much older, they were not as judgmental as they once were. Both women were delighted with the changes made. And these perceived but inaccurate changes made their friendship possible for the first time. 

During the time they spent together at Mia’s home, they discovered ways they were alike. Both of them loved desserts and they both were good bakers, so they spent time together in the kitchen whipping up exotic desserts that they ate up greedily. “Bubba doesn’t like sweet things!” declared Mia as the two women cut a large Sacher Torte in two and wolfed down the rich dessert. 

Smal handmade basket

In a way Mia was correct. Bubba didn’t like the homemade cakes Mia made, but kept a hoard of Twinkies in his truck that he ate in secret. He had stocked up when Hostess announced that they would cease making and selling Twinkies, so he had a big supply in a huge tool box in the back of the truck. He also made it a habit of going to the McDonalds drive-through for a large sweet tea daily. Mia and Lorraine always asked for their tea unsweetened even though they were 100% Southern.

Locally made pendant

Lorraine regretfully made her plans to return to North Carolina. She had made it her mission to keep dogs safe from Covid-19, and she was going to make Black Mountain the epicenter of her movement. She decided to name her organization, Cancel Covid in Canines, because she like the alliteration. She just knew that she would be seen as the Mother Teresa of the dog world when her movement caught on. She would probably be named the Person of the Week on the NBC news. She practiced her acceptance speech in front of the mirror:

Handmade Silk Boho Bags

“Hi, David! This is Lorraine talking to you from the CCC headquarters in Black Mountain. I have saved many, many dear doggies from the virus. I hocked the jewelry that my lover, El Chapo, gave me to start this organization. That’s why the building I purchased on Broadway is called the El Chapo Dog Sanctuary.”

She could imagine David Muir waxing poetic about what a great humanitarian she was. She would say, “Oh stop it, David! Anyone with lots of jewelry given to her by El Chapo would have done what I did!”

Base of Vintage Enamel Top Table

She thought that when she got back to Black Mt., she would buy the Ice House, the building on Broadway that was being renovated as a restaurant. She imagined she could probably get it cheap! 

She rented a car, bade a tearful farewell to Mia and Bubba, and headed northeast towards Black Mt.

Black Pearl and Sea Glass necklace $75