Lorraine was so thrilled about her conversation with the big man at the Nashville club that she couldn’t sleep. She tossed and turned in her motel bed and imagined herself as a big star in the Nashville scene. The man who told her to call him Big Jimmy said he was the music producer at a club called The Bluebird Cafe and that she had the potential to be the next big thing in country music.
“You might know this place, The Bluebird,” he said. “You’ve seen it on the tv show Nashville.”
Lorraine had never seen that show but didn’t want to jinx her chances by admitting so. “O.M.G.!” she burst out. My all time favorite show. So does that mean I’ll be on tv?”
Even before Big Jimmy could answer her question, she began to worry. Worrying was in her nature, after all. If there was nothing to worry about in front of her, she wracked her brain to come up with a potential worry. For example, did Frederick’s ex-wife want him back? Sure they had been divorced for years and she was in a happy relationship with another woman, but you never knew. At this point, Lorraine wasn’t even sure if she wanted him back! But still… And now this Covid mess! She worried constantly about getting it and her hands were raw from all the alcohol sanitizer she rubbed on them.
Being on tv worried her also, because she had read somewhere that the cameras added twenty pounds Could they even squeeze her into one shot as big as she was? She racked her brain to think of heavy singers and all she could come up with were Luciano Pavarotti and Mama Cass. If they fit on the screen, then surely she could. Maybe they wouldn’t put her on “Nashville” right away, and she could go on another diet. Dieting was also in her nature. But mainly telling friends she was on a diet and then cheating on her diet was her way.
She didn’t know what The Bluebird would be like, but she decided that since it was on tv it must be swanky. Her first thought before she decided what to sing or whether country music was even her style was clothing. “Yikes!” What in the world would she wear? The audience would make up its mind about her on first glance, so she had to look amazing. All she had with her was what was left of the camo crossing the desert gear and her one subdued Eileen Fisher outfit. She wanted her image to be less Che Guevara or Gloria Vanderbilt and more Tammy Wynette, so she had some intense shopping to do. She had to do something with her hair and make-up and needed some sequined cowboy boots stat.
Big Jimmy told her to show up at the Bluebird the following night and he would introduce her on stage. As she lay in bed she grabbed her cell phone to find out what time shops in Nashville opened up. It was four AM, and she had several hours to kill before the shops opened up, but she sure couldn’t go back to sleep.
She jumped out of bed and searched YouTube for a fast-paced exercise class. She had no time to waste. She found an abs workout and turned it on: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9VsDP584zyQ. It looked great and promised that if she followed the plan for 22 days, she would find her abs. Surely there were abs buried somewhere beneath her middle region.
She pushed herself to the max for the full 22 minutes but developed an enormous appetite. She looked on-line and found Green Door Gourmet, https://www.greendoorgourmet.com/ and knew she would have to head over there and see what she could find to eat. Their website looked so inviting. Surely people on the farm would be up early and would welcome a future country music legend before the official opening time. She was ravenous and needed sustenance before she started her guerrilla shopping trip.
