Roomy handmade boho purse by Sheila Martin $150

True to his word, the emissary from El Chapo drove Lorraine in air conditioned comfort across the border into Texas. He was not kidding when he declared that his boss had an agreement with US Immigration to go back and forth across the border at will, because when they approached the border into the US, the driver bypassed the many cars lined up in the heat to cross the border, zipped right up to the toll booths, waved a piece of paper at the agent in the booth, and the gates went up immediately. Before she could even refresh her lipstick, Lorraine found herself in El Paso, Texas, USA. She was handed a packet of big US bills, and dropped on a street corner. The driver sped away in case Lorraine changed her mind and wanted to return to Mexico. And she was home!

Baskets perfect for holding a plant $25

Lorraine was happy to be back on US soil but felt out of place in her border-crossing attire. The shoppers in downtown El Paso were well-dressed and clean, and she could smell the body odor wafting off her own body. She was in a quandary of what to do first. Should she check into a hotel and take a long, hot shower, or should she go shopping for some decent clothes to wear?

Colorful Boho Purse, Handmade by Sheila Martin

She opted for a brief shopping trip because she thought it was stupid to shower and then have to put the smelly camouflage clothing back on. She spotted a Macy’s department store down the street and went inside. As she roamed the store purchasing underwear and a few cute outfits, she realized that she was not alone. There were at least three security guards, trying to look invisible, following her around the store. She was highly offended. Did they think she was a shop-lifter? Why would they think that? She sniffed loudly to let them know she was a woman of means and exited the store with her packages. 

Quilts, handmade in Black Mountain

She checked into a downtown Marriott and stripped off her camo clothes and climbed into the shower. She jammed the clothes she had been wearing into a small trash can and lay down on the comfortable bed to relax and think. She had to make a plan now that she was back in the US. 

Demotivational Pens, great to share! $10
Tiny papier mache bird

As soon as she felt up to it, she lifted the telephone and dialed the phone number of her least favorite sister, who happened to live in El Paso. She couldn’t find herself in El Paso and neglect to call Bulimia. Of course Bulimia did not answer her phone (she never did!), so Lorraine had to listen to her answering machine message and leave one of her own. Even though Tom Petty had sued the President for using his song, I Won’t Back Down, as a campaign theme song, Bulimia, a rabid Trump supporter, kept that song on her answering machine. “Hi! This is Bulimia! Let’s all get together and make America great again! Please leave a message, and be sure to vote in November.”

Black Pearl and Sea Glass necklace $75

Disgusted but not surprised, Lorraine left a message, “Hi, Mia, I’m in El Paso. Very long story, but call me back.”

Mia was a call screener, so Lorraine was not surprised when the phone in her hotel room rang just a few minutes later as Lorraine was dressing in a cute new Eileen Fisher outfit. 

Extra Jumbo Face Mug by Jim McDowell

“What the heck are you doing in El Paso?” demanded Bulimia. “I thought you said you’d never come back here again after your last visit. Sorry that I called your husband a weenie.”

“Well, it’s a long story,” said Lorraine. “I am going to rent a car and drive out to your place if that’s ok with you.”

Black Mt.-made cutting boards $50

Bulimia agreed and insisted that Lorraine come for dinner, move out of that hotel, and stay with her and her husband. Lorraine hesitated as she and her sister didn’t get along very well, and her husband was the world’s most boring human. Yet it seemed foolish to pay for a hotel when she could stay for free at her sister’s place.

She packed up her stuff, rented a car., and drove out to the suburbs.